The Mystique of “La Bise”

One of the most interesting (and pleasant!) customs in France is “la bise,” the exchange of kisses on the cheek when one meets a friend, family member, or even is introduced for the first time. (The kisses aren’t really kisses in that one’s lips don’t usually touch the other person’s cheeks.)



It’s really a lovely, warm way to greet people, but it can get cumbersome at times, and it can be awkward for the uninitiated. Picture several of us in my French conversation “class” at AVF. Assuming we all arrived at about the same time, we each exchange “la bise” or “faire la bise”. It can look almost like two sport teams lining up and shaking hands after a game. So far so good. But, not everyone arrives at the same time – in fact people sort of dribble in one-by-one over the next half hour or so. Each new entry is expected to greet each and every one of the others with “la bise.” As you can imagine, this can be a little disruptive to the class. (“Work arounds” can be creative as demonstrated by a fellow American who recently arrived quite late to class. She entered the room, saw that there were already about fifteen of us gathered around a table in the rather small room, did a beauty queen two-handed kiss directed at all of us, and said, “bise, everyone.” Got to love American ingenuity!)


But, wait it can be more complicated than that! How many kisses? And, which cheek do you start on? Lyon is pretty laid back on the protocol; just one kiss on each cheek, and figure out where to start as you go. (I’ve noticed most people start on their right side, kissing the other person’s left cheek.) It seems to work just fine; I’ve never seen any accidents. (David reminds me we have an Irish friend who simply leans her face forward and lets the other person pick the cheek. Whatever works.)

However, not all of France is as relaxed about this as Lyon is. Here is a map showing how many kisses are expected in various regions in France. I have to admit, I’m not sure how up to date this map is since the protocol for this custom seems to be pretty fluid. But, I wouldn’t want to be in my French class in Brittany or Champagne – we’d never have time for conversation!


It’s always interesting to learn new customs, and this one is a particularly enjoyable one!